Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
