I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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