Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
