Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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