we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love you. Go after that dick
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
