Please, let me fuck your mom
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
