i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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