did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
