I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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