Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
