Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
even my farts smell like vagina
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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