You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
