i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
