FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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