It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
