I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
