Can i not drive my cunt home
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
