I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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