i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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