I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In other news, I just burned my penis
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
