you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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