Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
