just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
