Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize