is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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