I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
