im about as happy as oj after his trial
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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