You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
