Ketchup is God's man juice
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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