Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
