just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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