So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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