Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
