Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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