ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize