but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
