Joe is yelling at the trees again.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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