That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
