We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
