I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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