is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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