Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize