this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
