I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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