Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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