I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
