Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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