searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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