Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
