hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Randomize