Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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