You're my little dorito
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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