i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize