STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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