turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just want nice things and good sex
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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