Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
