i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
