Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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