Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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