On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
