The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
