I'm drive I can fine osifer
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
