How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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