How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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