You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize