he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
