we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
