I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
