just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
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