I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
time to smoke my breakfast
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize