i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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