Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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