Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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