she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
