kristin has been a bad kristin
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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